Domestic Violence Awareness Month —
What you Need to Know
(Article published in HWW October 2009)
by Rona Solomon, Deputy Director, Center Against Domestic Violence
October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. This month is dedicated to letting you know about domestic violence and relationship abuse.
As hard as it is to believe, thirty five years ago domestic violence was not considered a problem and there were no publicly funded shelters or safe houses. In 1977, the Center Against Domestic Violence opened New York State’s first publicly funded domestic violence shelter for fifteen women and children in the Brooklyn YWCA. Now there are more than 2,000 domestic violence shelter beds in New York City!
Are you a victim of domestic violence?
Domestic violence means that one person in a couple controls the other person by abusing power. Anyone can be a victim of domestic violence. Domestic violence affects men and women, old and young people, rich and poor people, gay and straight people, married people and people who are not married.
There are many kinds of abuse, but generally domestic violence falls into five types. It is not unusual for a batterer to abuse his or her victim in more than one way. These are the five most common types of abuse:
• Emotional Abuse – like mind games and humiliation
• Verbal Abuse – like name calling and put downs
• Physical Abuse – like hitting and using a weapon
• Sexual Abuse – like pressure about sex and rape
• Economic Abuse – like stealing or forbidding your partner to work
How do you know if you are a victim of domestic violence?
Think about it this way –-
Is your partner...
Controlling you? Threatening you? Degrading you? Yelling at you? Throwing things at you? Hitting you? Pushing you? Hurting your children or your pets? Withholding your money from you? Forcing you to do things against your will?
Do you feel...
Isolated? Ashamed? Frightened? Numb? Depressed? Anxious? Angry? Worthless? Hopeless?
If the answer is yes, you may be a victim.
What to do if you are a victim?
If you are in danger, call 911 or ask a friend to call for you. Domestic violence is a crime and domestic violence victims are in danger.
To find domestic violence shelter, call the New York City Domestic Violence Hotline – 1-800-621-HOPE (4673) or 311 and say you are a domestic violence victim who needs shelter. You can also call the Center Against Domestic Violence Hotline directly, 718-439-1000, and we will tell you if we have any available space in our three shelters.
Last year the biggest cause of homelessness for women and children in New York City was domestic violence. It was just too dangerous for them to stay in their own homes. Families with children under 21 years old who are applying for shelter must go in-person to the Prevention Assistance and Temporary Housing (PATH) Office in the Bronx. The PATH Office is open 24 hours, 7 days a week. If you are a homeless victim of domestic violence, tell someone about the domestic violence as soon as you arrive at PATH. You will be sent to the NoVA (No Violence Again) Unit, where they will work to find you space in a domestic violence shelter. If there are no available spaces in domestic violence shelters, the NoVA Unit will place you in a regular homeless shelter and offer you referrals for domestic violence services.
In a domestic violence shelter, you can work with staff to overcome the effects of domestic violence in support groups, workshops and special children’s programs. Their goal is to give women the tools to become survivors and never be victims again. Just like other shelters, domestic violence shelters are operated by not for profit organizations, but domestic violence shelters are projects of the Human Resources Administration (HRA) rather than the Department of Homeless Services (DHS). Another difference is that domestic violence shelters are emergency shelters. That means that your stay there will probably be shorter than in a transitional housing shelter. Families can only stay in a domestic violence shelter for 90 to 135 days.
No matter what type of shelter you find for yourself and your children, let your housing specialist know that you are a victim of domestic violence. As a victim, you may be eligible for some special permanent housing plans. If you are already a NYCHA tenant in good standing or have a Section-8 Certificate, you may be eligible for a domestic violence priority transfer. You may also be eligible for DV Advantage housing, which has different benefits from other Advantage plans.
Tell your case manager or worker that you have been a victim of domestic violence so that she can advocate for you to be in special programs. For example, if you are an immigrant, you may be able to apply for a “U” visa, or a “VAWA” visa which are priority visas for victims of domestic violence. All victims of domestic violence can apply for crime victims compensation benefits, which are cash grants to pay for the things you lost because of domestic violence. Crime victims benefits will also pay for damage to your home, therapy for you and your children or medical care related to the domestic violence.
Services are available for victims of domestic violence outside of shelter. The Center Against Domestic Violence offers support groups in English and Spanish, children’s groups, counseling and case management, court advocacy and help to apply for crime victims benefits. Call us at 718-254-9134 to find out more.
This Domestic Violence Month, use what you just learned to help yourself or a friend overcome the effects of domestic violence and never be a victim again.
Where to call for help:
Police: 911
U.S. National Domestic Violence Hotline:
1-800-799-7233 (SAFE)
TTY at 1-800-787-3224
New York State Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault Hotline:
English: 1-800-942-6906
English: TTY: 1-800-818-0656
Spanish: 1-800-942-6908
Spanish: TTY: 1-800-780-7660
New York City Domestic Violence Hotline:
1-800-621-4673 (All Languages)
TDD: 800-810-7444
Center Against Domestic Violence Hotline:
1-718-439-1000
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A DV SURVIVOR’S STORY
Francesca’s family came to the Center Against Domestic Violence shelter called Women’s Safe Start seeking safety from domestic violence. Here is Francesca’s story in her own words.
Hello, my name is Francesca and I am nine years old. I moved into the shelter with my mom, brother and baby sister in June because we wanted to be safe. I was scared when I came. I thought everyone would be mean to us and we would have to find a new home again. I was very afraid of not having any friends. I am shy so it is hard to talk to strangers.
When we arrived, I thought we were in the wrong place. The building did not look like a shelter to me. It was clean and we had our own apartment and kitchen too. I did not realize there were so many families like ours who needed to be safe.
I began to feel good when I joined the summer camp program. The counselors were so nice and made us feel special. Ms. Tyishia, Ms. Kelly Ms. Erica and Ms. Diaz are people I will never forget. I never went to camp before and they made it the best summer of my life.
We went to places like Medieval Times and Great Adventure and Build a Bear. I had never been to so many places! I was so happy because my mom, brother and baby sister came on many trips. I met some nice friends and we even agreed to write to each other when we move.
At the end of summer, it was hard to say goodbye, I made so many memories and I never had so much fun. I did not want the summer to be over. The counselors gave us a big party and gave us all gifts. Everyone cried and we took many pictures so we would always remember our summer together.
I never thought my experience at this shelter would make me so happy. Sometimes I even wish I did not have to leave because I have never been this happy before.
